Our 1 . . . and the 300 left behind

Today marks one year since we saw this sweet face for the first time.

It's crazy to look at that picture. To really look at it. To remember staring at her that first time and how we were wondering. Wondering about her and what she was like, exactly where she was, what her story was. We didn't even know her name or her birthday then. Starting to fall in love with a girl in a picture. And now we love her knowing all those things and so much more. And we get the privilege of holding her every day and looking into those beautiful eyes. What adventures have happened since that picture was taken. We had no idea what traveling would be like and never could have guessed how much we would enjoy it. What changes for all of us. God has used that little girl in the picture in mighty ways!!

We are thankful and have hearts full of gratitude that God is allowing us to parent Karina. Even on the tough days when we feel completely inadequate to meet her needs. Trying to figure out how to love her best. Falling on our faces continually as we work to parent all three in the way they each need us most . . .and all at the same time. Goodness it's challenging sometimes. And usually not too pretty. But we are so thankful she is here. And I was recently reminded again not to take that for granted.

The other day I heard a story on K-love radio about Russian adoptions. I had heard of the 300 Russian children before. There are 300 kids that had met their adoptive parents but they didn't make it to their court date before the ban went into effect to stop Americans from adopting Russian children. 

Ryan looked up the story online and showed me this video. And the tears flowed. And my heart continues to ache. You should watch it. Probably with a Kleenex nearby.

This could have been us. That could have been Karina. What if she had been born a few months later? What if we had waited to start our adoption journey a little longer? Thankfully God doesn't have to play the What If? game and he knows how and when and why even when we don't. We knew that it was always a very real possibility that things could suddenly not work out at basically any point along the way. That we could have left our hearts with Karina and never been able to bring her home. I think that was one of the hardest parts of the adoption process - letting go to love her completely and not hold back our hearts - all the while knowing that if we completely surrendered our hearts that they might get completely broken.

The images in this video just shoot too close to home for me. The orphanage pictures, the cute little chairs, standing outside the orphanage waiting. They are much the same and my heart just hurts for these families and for the kids. Kids who knew that this was to be their family. Many of them old enough to really understand. They have been held and played with and felt that glimmer of what life in a family is like. They've felt the love. And now they are just stuck.

Here's another video with two siblings separated by the ban.

I wish I had some thing I could tell you to do to help get these kids home. You can pray with us. Our hearts sometimes feel like they are stuck in Russia too. Wanting to help in a place we can't go back to. There is a documentary that is being shown all over the world to hopefully put some pressure on Russia and the U.S. to figure this out and get these kids to their families. And the money has now been raised to get the word out about the film so I don't think they're collecting any more at this point. Click here to read the news story. And here is the website for the documentary being shown. Putin and Obama have met in person since the above videos were made but the adoption ban wasn't even brought up. They meet again this fall and hopefully they will discuss the ban and these children. I was so touched in the video by the Russian people protesting against their government regarding the adoption ban. They are standing up for what they believe. The people really do care about these kids, regardless of what their government is doing. I wrote to our senators, etc. but I haven't been out on the street marching. It feels like it wouldn't do any good. I have yet to find a way to really be involved. We wish we could really DO something for the kids we saw. Those images don't disappear. So if you have any ideas or know of some way to be involved we'd love to hear it. For now, we pray. That God would work. We know that God isn't wondering what will happen to these children and these families. There are no if's. We've watched miracles firsthand as certain children made their way to their forever families. Crazy awesome wonderful stories. They are good reminders that God is in control in what feels like a complete mess to us. And we try to rest in the fact that someday there will be no more need for orphanages or foster care anywhere because God will make it ALL right again. No families will long for their children. No governments will get in the way with their own agendas. I long for that day. But for today I am thankful we get the chance to love our sweet, funny, totally awesome little girl that one year ago stole our hearts forever.